Sunday, November 17, 2013

What I learned from Ke$ha and the Westboro Baptist Church

Recently I was flipping channels and came across "Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life" on MTV. If you're not familiar, it is a reality tv series following the popular singer. I'd never watched the show before and as there wasn't anything else on really, decided to see how what this chick was all about. I may have ended up watching more than I intended just out of sheer boredom and was intrigued when the next episode came on and ended up featuring the lovely Westboro Baptist Church. Obviously pure sarcasm.

First let me start by saying that I would not consider Ke$ha an ideal role model. As you may or may not know, she is basically anti-role model. She sings about getting thoroughly and completely wasted at parties, having sex, smoking marijuana and anything else that you would consider to be the opposite of anyone I would want my future child to look up to.

I'd also like to mention that although I completely disagree with her lifestyle, showing up at her concert with signs of hate in protest are just not mah thang. I do not defend or back the Westboro Baptist Church, nor do I agree with many of their interpretations of the Bible, including that God hates anyone but the devil. Just wanted to be clear!

Ok, on to what I learned. In the episode, the church shows up at one of her concert. As the church outside shouts words of hate and damnation, we see Ke$ha's reaction inside the venue. Ke$ha takes the stage in her skimpy leotard and addresses the crowd. (Paraphrased)
"Outside there is a church protesting this concert. I just wanted to thank you for coming and let you know that I love you. I love you all just as you are. I want you to know that you can be who you are with me."
And begins to sing her popular song, "We R Who We R".

This statement nearly brought me to tears. Clearly Ke$ha ain't no saint, but Jesus said something very similar. He just wants as to come as we are and be in His presence. He did not call us to condemn or hate. He called us to be the light of the world, to show the love of God. It's very sad to me that people are finding more acceptance and love with a secular singer who lives a dangerous and sinful life, rather than with God's people.

The Westboro Baptist Church does not represent the entirety of the organized Christian Church. But society seems to think they do. And if the rest of us don't step up our love game, society will continue to find "love" in the arms of singers like Ke$ha, celebrities, actors, bars, alcohol, drugs and "doing what feels right". Because these things can only imitate true love.

As Christians, let's choose to love the Godly way. Let's choose to be the light and not cast a judging glare. I cannot do what God can with a heart that He has created, all I can do is shine the light to lead the way back to Him.

P.S. If you're reading this, I love you and so does Jesus ;-)

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

My love/hate relationship with my hair

Every female has a relationship with their hair. Sometimes we love it, sometimes we hate it, sometimes it is the bane of our existence. I think you can probably guess where me and my hair stand about now.

My hair and I battle it out on a daily seriously. And it's been this way for years. I remember the very first time I chopped off all my hair. I was about 7 and I was playing softball. I was going through a tomboy phase and I didn't want to deal with my long hair was too girly. I told the stylist I wanted it to my ears. Now what stylist actually listens to a 7 year old girl telling her to cut her "to the butt" locks up to her ears, I'll never know. But she did, and I looked like a boy. When I put my ball cap on, people thought I was a boy.

The many styles of Kasey May :). Notice the length of my hair right after wedding (top left photo) and subsequent hair cut right after that photo was taken, lol (bottom left photo). Also, my sincerest apologies on the excessive use of the duck face..I words.

I never went longer than a year and a half without cutting it short after that. You'd think I would never have cut it again, but I can't help but cut it. So when my husband told me that he wished I would let my hair grow long again (I'd grown it out for about a year and a half for our wedding and it actually got past my shoulders!), I knew I should try. So I did. For about two years after the last "short cut", I grew it, and fought it the whole way! After just a few short months, I started to get the itch again, so I had my stylist change up my bangs (that's a whole different post....never cut your bangs!). That curbed my urge for a bit. It did help that I could start curling a little and I started following The Small Things Blog to get ideas for styling. But once again, I needed that change in my life. So I got some color done. But the more it grew the more it seemed my hair would never be long enough to do all the gorgeous styles I saw for long hair on Pinterest. It was just awkward. Not short, not long, just blah.

So I called to make the appointment to get it chopped. I HAD too. It was a desperate need. Despite the gnawing at the back of my mind saying, "just let it grow through the will be long then. Do it for your husband, he likes it long! You will regret this, Kasey, you always do." I did it anyway. And when the receptionist told me that my stylist had broken his elbow just 2 days prior and would be out for at least a month, maybe longer, I should have listened to the signs! But I ignored it and booked with another girl.

The day of my appointment, I curled my hair up one last time and took before pictures of my frustratingly medium length hair. Looking at the picture, I thought, "sheesh, why does my hair have to look so good today?" ANOTHER SIGN! But I went to the appointment. The stylist they put me with was a girl I had never seen. Her hair was a beautiful brown color with a few highlights throughout...and the length! Oh it was so cute...a bit shorter than mine falling just above her shoulders, and curly. I thought to myself, "I could just ask for her to cut mine like hers! It would be short enough to get my fix, but not too much off that it would ruin all this growing I've done." But of course, I sat down in the chair and showed her the short cut I had already picked out. WHY? I don't know, I'm stubborn.

I left that fateful day just over two weeks ago on the verge of tears. I hated it! She didn't even cut it or style it like the picture I gave her. She flat ironed it, making my square, somewhat chubby face look very round and fat. Ugh..what have I done?

I am finally getting used to styling it to give it some body and it's alright. But now looking back, I see all the signs and keep seeing pictures of my LONG hair. Even though I didn't see it then, I was so close to having the long hair I got rid of as a little tomboyish girl, that I so desperately want back again.

Morning of the appointment...amazing right?!
Going in!!! Should have just

Saying goodbye in the salon bathroom

Right after....not lovin' it.

This time will be different, this time I will grow it and NOT cut it. I'm going to put a picture of my long hair and my short hair next to each other on my mirror and NOT cut it. For right now, I'm going to try and love my hair today.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

How I am learning to have a Heaven marriage

Dudes, I am like a legit Bible study attendee. I've started going to 2 different church studies and I am so excited. I'm getting so much out of them, I am building strong relationships with other believers and having great fellowship. One of the Bible studies the hubs and I have joined is for marriage building. We are watching a video series by Jimmy Evans called Marriage on the Rock. It is a fantastic series that has helped us in just 2 sessions. We are doing it in a small group setting, so if you are not looking to spend $99, you can get the book here, for just $15.

We missed the first session, so I will probably be buying the book to catch up and just have to review later after the class is over. But so far, we have done the "Four Foundational Laws of Marriage" and "Understand and Meeting Your Spouse's Needs". I have read marriage books before that made sense and were good, but I could never impart the information to my husband. Coming from me, I'm sure it was received more as nagging than anything. But coming from another husband, especially one who went from being on the verge of divorce to leading marriage seminars, I can tell that my husband understands and wants to do what's necessary to make our marriage successful. Jimmy is straightforward and he doesn't just put all the burden on the man. You always hear that marriage is a two way street, you both have to fulfill your roles, you have to meet each other's needs...blah blah blah. Duh, we get that, lol. BUT HOW? Evans lays it out simply and directly. He says, this is what a husband needs, this is what a wife needs. By the way these are different :). If you want to know what they are, you should get the book.

There are a few points that have really hit home with me.
1) My husband NEEDS sex. Yea, it's kind of embarrassing to say. It's a little awkward to talk about. But he is a man, he was designed to want sex and he needs it to really fulfill his role in our marriage. By withholding sex, I am not meeting my husband's needs.
Ladies, I's not what we want sometimes. We're tired, not in the mood, etc. But when you meet your husband's need for sex, you are honoring God and your husband will want to meet your needs as well.

2) Outside of my relationship with God, my husband should always be my #1 priority. Now, the part of this that really got me was when Evans shared a story about when he became the senior pastor of his church. He began spending much of his time at church, in the ministry, serving God. But we he came home, his family still needed him. Him and his wife had a huge fight about it and he ended up on the couch for several nights. Evans asked the Lord to help his wife understand. He was serving the Lord, he didn't have time to meet ALL of his wife's needs. The response that he got from God was: Church is not Me. Your priorities have changed and now your wife is taking second place to Church.
I have always placed an emphasis on serving at church whenever possible. I serve in the children's ministry, the events committee and attend Bible study. These are all fantastic things. But serving in the church is not the same as having a relationship with God. And out of priority, these things can be damaging to what should be my #1: my husband.

These are just a couple of lessons that have really strengthened me. It's been awesome too, to see my husband actually enjoy the fellowship of other couples and and take the lessons he's learned and apply them to our marriage. Even little changes have helped us so much. By putting each other's needs above our own, we've both seen more of our needs being met.

I'll leave you with this funny image that Evans shared. Imagine a huge buffet table with all of the most amazing dishes that you've ever seen. As you sit at the table, tied to your hands are utensils that are too long for you to feed yourself with. No matter how hard you try, there's no way to reach your mouth with the long fork and spoon. So in order to eat, you must feed the people across from you and allow them to feed you. You must meet the needs of others in order for your own needs to be met. In Hell, everyone is so selfish and unwilling to help others, they never get to eat the delicious bounty in front of them. But in Heaven, everyone's needs are met. Everyone enjoys the delicious meal set before them.
So strive to have a Heaven marriage where you meet each other's needs and never go hungry.

Feeding each other cake. I came away clean ;) 

Monday, September 9, 2013

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Football season, AGAIN?

Right? Right, Ladies? Who's with me? I can't be the only one that does NOT like football season, right?

I'm more of a "only watch when my home college team/superbowl is on" fan. My husband is a "literally could watch any football game on tv" fan. So needless to say, football season is not my favorite time of the year. What's that you say? "Football season is like half of the year"? Ya don't say! "Why are you married to someone with such different interests than you", you say?

I WAS HOODWINKED! Bait and switch, ladies, bait and switch. Holwell never watched this much football when we dated. And he was always willing to change the channel after a while.

*Sigh*....I guess we all kinda exaggerate ourselves a bit when we're dating don't we? I mean, I may or may not have suggested that I enjoyed the sport of football a time or two. "Oh yea sure, I like football, we can watch for a little bit. Not my favorite team, so maybe we can watch something else after halftime?"

 This is us super excited after Mizzou beat Kansas at the Border Showdown in KC. 
We had amazing seats right next to the band!

Seriously though, I am madly in love with my husband, in spite of his football loving ways. And I do like watching every once in a while. And I really like going to Mizzou games :). I just wish I'd known back then I'd be watching so much of it now so I could use my non-married time for something else, lol. Because back when I was still being wooed, I could have whatever I wanted. Remember that all you single ladies that want to be married.
Once he puts a ring on it, he's done wooing!

Our very first date! It was my birthday, and a princess always wears her tiara on her birthday :). 
This was super woo faze!

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

If everything's going wrong, you must be doing something right

UPDATE (9/5/13): Car was just under $300 to fix with totally not the end of the world. And the shower is "fixed". Have to wait 2 days before we can shower in that one, so we'll see. But I just wanted to say, take that satan! 

It doesn't really seem like it would make sense. But we've all heard the saying, "bad things happen to good people." And as a Christian, I've always been told that when you really seek after God and dig deep into Him, satan will have a fit. There's nothing more that satan hates than a Christian living out the Word, and he'll try to even use the Word against you.

For example, right now I've been hearing over and over... "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." (Rom. 8:28). Now, as it plays over and over, I hear this tiny voice in the back of my mind saying "so what's the deal? Why is nothing working out for good?"

Let's rewind a few months. Holwell and I bought our (first)  home this past January and it's awesome! We love our new home and our little family. But if you've ever purchased a home, and like us, don't make a ton of money, you know that the process of purchasing a home, moving into and furnishing said home tends to incur A LOT of expenses. Hence, we don't have much anything left in our savings.

Side note: I have been going through this cycle for the last 5 years or so: 1. own a crappy car because can't afford a nice one 2. after about 1-1.5 years of car ownership, car                           (insert horrible thing that causes car to go to junkyard) 3. by new old crappy car with the very little bit of savings I have 4. repeat steps 1-4.

Almost back to present! So last week the car started riding a little rough. The engine light has been on for a while, so I called our mechanic to see if he could check it out. He couldn't see me for a couple of days and I needed an oil change anyway, so I took it to get an oil change at another local shop and that seemed to help a bit. I took it to the shop the next day anyway, just to be safe. He cleared it and reset my engine light.

AND yesterday....(almost to today, I promise) :). Ok, so yesterday as I'm pulling in to work I start smelling the burning smells and the car starts to shake, temp is getting HOT. UGH. Been there, done that, not excited about it. Try to get home after work and make it about 5 miles, barely. So I leave it in a parking lot and have Holwell come get me. PS., we live about 40 min away from where I work, so I got to sit in the heat while waiting for my ride. YAY!

OK now to today! Told you I'd make it. I decided to not let the situation get me down, it could be worse...I didn't blow a head gasket! So we got up early and went to the gym. I pushed myself today, even though I am still very sore from installing Simba's in-ground electric fence (more about this another time). It felt amazing. I ran, I cranked out some crunches and when we left the gym at 7, it was still a little cold out, so the brisk air felt wonderful. Got home, hopped in the shower and started getting ready for my day. Everything was going fabulously, I was early (never happens), my hair was working for me (never happens), and life was grand. And then Holwell came upstairs to awaken me from my fantasy. Whilst taking my fantastic shower, it seems the ceiling downstairs started leaking. WHAAAT??!

Ok ok, Kasey, calm down. We know the guy who put the shower in and he will probably look at it for free, because even though he's apparently not that great of a plumber (we've had issues with this shower before), he is very nice and pretty handy.

Can't worry about the shower right now..have to get my car towed home to the mechanic and find out what's wrong. After some quick research, I find out that my car insurance does not include roadside assistance, even though it only costs about $1.50 A MONTH. Definitely added that. So I call the tow company and find out it's going to be $135 for the tow. Yuck.

At this point, I just can't take it anymore. I call Holwell and start to bawl. WHY?? Why did my car have to crap out? Why did the shower have to spring a leak? Why does my car always do this right after I fill up my gas tank?
And then that little voice again: "I thought things were supposed to work for good? I thought you were blessed?"

I AM BLESSED. THINGS WILL WORK OUT TOGETHER FOR GOOD. Just because it seems like everything is falling apart, right this instant, it's not. Today is just one day, just one week, just one month, just one year, out of many years of being blessed. Yea, today sucks. But just like last year when I heard that little voice telling me there was no way I was going to be able to be a homeowner, God stepped in in the eleventh hour and we closed on December 31st, the day before our loan paperwork was due to expire, just like He will step in for me now.

I also know that God works through if you just happen to feel God moving you to give me a car, I am ready and willing to accept that blessing!

My joy and my blessings :)

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Starting Over

It has been almost a year and a half since I last posted an entry. So much has changed...

For the last week, I have been redesigning this blog to get ready to start writing again. Every time I go to write though, I get side tracked and have to tweak something, add something, or I'm looking at other blogs for inspiration. I'm not sure what is, but something's been holding me back. Maybe it's the commitment to posting consistently, the worry that I'll be received negatively, or worse...that no one will every read it, and I will continue to operate in my bubble of solitude.
So I'm just going to dive in head first and put it all out there.

So let's start over. When I last posted, I was near the end of my college career. Everything was crazy. While trying to make it through the last summer and then last semester, I was also working full time as a wedding coordinator, beginning my search for a post-college job, and the Mr. and I were looking to buy our first home. It seems I can't do anything one thing at a time, I have to do everything at once :). Since then, so much has happened! I could tell you, but showing you is so much better :)

 A) I graduated!

B) We bought a house!


C) We bought a puppy :)

His name is Simba, and he is the sweetest, most annoying thing on this earth! Gotta love that little guy :)

Simba has grown so much! He was 3 months old when we got him, and he is now about 9 months.

D) AND finally! I got a job...woohoo! No more long wedding weekends, never having a day off with the hubs, dealing with emotional brides and their mothers, and of course crazy hours! 

Got to meet the governor while at my new job.

Appreciation gift from the team for a big project I completed. Oh how amazing to be appreciated.

This is us taking a picture while doing a tornado drill in the bathroom :).

There's so much else that has happened of course, but those are the major things. Still no babies for us, lol...but I will get to meet my niece in about a month. My sister-in-law is counting down the days, and so am I!

Now the hard post again. I can and WILL do it! (Before another year and half goes by, I promise.)