We missed the first session, so I will probably be buying the book to catch up and just have to review later after the class is over. But so far, we have done the "Four Foundational Laws of Marriage" and "Understand and Meeting Your Spouse's Needs". I have read marriage books before that made sense and were good, but I could never impart the information to my husband. Coming from me, I'm sure it was received more as nagging than anything. But coming from another husband, especially one who went from being on the verge of divorce to leading marriage seminars, I can tell that my husband understands and wants to do what's necessary to make our marriage successful. Jimmy is straightforward and he doesn't just put all the burden on the man. You always hear that marriage is a two way street, you both have to fulfill your roles, you have to meet each other's needs...blah blah blah. Duh, we get that, lol. BUT HOW? Evans lays it out simply and directly. He says, this is what a husband needs, this is what a wife needs. By the way these are different :). If you want to know what they are, you should get the book.
There are a few points that have really hit home with me.
1) My husband NEEDS sex. Yea, it's kind of embarrassing to say. It's a little awkward to talk about. But he is a man, he was designed to want sex and he needs it to really fulfill his role in our marriage. By withholding sex, I am not meeting my husband's needs.
Ladies, I know...it's not what we want sometimes. We're tired, not in the mood, etc. But when you meet your husband's need for sex, you are honoring God and your husband will want to meet your needs as well.
2) Outside of my relationship with God, my husband should always be my #1 priority. Now, the part of this that really got me was when Evans shared a story about when he became the senior pastor of his church. He began spending much of his time at church, in the ministry, serving God. But we he came home, his family still needed him. Him and his wife had a huge fight about it and he ended up on the couch for several nights. Evans asked the Lord to help his wife understand. He was serving the Lord, he didn't have time to meet ALL of his wife's needs. The response that he got from God was: Church is not Me. Your priorities have changed and now your wife is taking second place to Church.
I have always placed an emphasis on serving at church whenever possible. I serve in the children's ministry, the events committee and attend Bible study. These are all fantastic things. But serving in the church is not the same as having a relationship with God. And out of priority, these things can be damaging to what should be my #1: my husband.
These are just a couple of lessons that have really strengthened me. It's been awesome too, to see my husband actually enjoy the fellowship of other couples and and take the lessons he's learned and apply them to our marriage. Even little changes have helped us so much. By putting each other's needs above our own, we've both seen more of our needs being met.
I'll leave you with this funny image that Evans shared. Imagine a huge buffet table with all of the most amazing dishes that you've ever seen. As you sit at the table, tied to your hands are utensils that are too long for you to feed yourself with. No matter how hard you try, there's no way to reach your mouth with the long fork and spoon. So in order to eat, you must feed the people across from you and allow them to feed you. You must meet the needs of others in order for your own needs to be met. In Hell, everyone is so selfish and unwilling to help others, they never get to eat the delicious bounty in front of them. But in Heaven, everyone's needs are met. Everyone enjoys the delicious meal set before them.
So strive to have a Heaven marriage where you meet each other's needs and never go hungry.
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| Feeding each other cake. I came away clean ;) |
